yo everyone went to the hospital last night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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