Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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