He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
