Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Farmville is her only friend.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
