so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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