Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
a search helicopter?!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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