Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
