You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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