hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
