There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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