There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
