like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
