I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
