I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
