I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
two words...techno handjob
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
