addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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