He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
