so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize