Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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