I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
