And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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