I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
