i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
