Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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