you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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