I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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