He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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