on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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