i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
