Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
