Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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