The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
