Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
