honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
