I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
