I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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