what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize