I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
