i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
