her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
