TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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