He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize