Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
