dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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