Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
