maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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