Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
