I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize