I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
