I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
