If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
