Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
