I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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