I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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