Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
