i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i love accidental penises.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
