Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
