My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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