operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
